Year-End Recital Reflections from an Adult Dancer

Dancers

4 May

Why Do I Still Dance? A Year-End Recital Reflection

Why Do Adult Dancers Still Dance? Reflections from a 40-Something Dancer.

I just finished getting ready for another year-end dance recital. You’d think after hundreds of shows, it would feel routine by now. But nope. It still hits different—especially at 44. I’m pulling my hair into a high pony, dodging grey streaks, layering on foundation that can’t hide the laugh lines, and wondering—again—why I still do this. Why do I still dance?

Love It. Hate It. Cry About It. Dance Anyway.

Dance is complicated. It’s not just pliés and pirouettes. It’s decades of joy, trauma, obsession, healing. There were years it gave me everything. And years it took a little too much.

At 12, I cried after every class where I wasn’t the one picked to demo. At 17, I compared myself to the same perfect girl with the gorgeous hair, the hyperextension, the impossibly perfect turns. I’m still comparing myself to her—30 years later.

Why couldn’t I be her? Why didn’t I look like that?

It wrecked me in ways I didn’t understand until adulthood. From disordered eating to performance anxiety, I wish I could go back and tell my younger self, 'You are enough. You are more than a mirror.'

From Crushes to Careers: How Dance Talk Has Changed

Back then, dance class meant talking about crushes, crop tops, and school drama. Now it means career chats, motherhood updates, and trying to survive warm-up without injuring something important.

But dance is still the thread—the one that pulls us all together. It’s the place where I remember who I am, underneath the layers of grown-up. It’s the space where I can be both silly and strong, where laughing until I cry is still part of the class.

The Recital Fear? Yep, It’s Still Real.

Here’s the truth: I’m more nervous to perform now than I was in high school. Every year, the lights feel brighter. The floor feels harder.

Why do I still dance? Because I need it. Because even though it scares me, it also reminds me I’m alive. That I’m growing. That I’m still willing to try.

Dear Dance Teachers: Please Know You Matter

Looking back, I realize how deeply some teachers shaped my mental health. Some built me up. Some broke me down. And sadly, many had no idea they were doing either.

I see some studios now where the adults in charge lack any training in leadership or child psychology. And I cringe. Because I know how much harm one off-hand comment can do.

But I also see the good. The teachers who show up with heart, compassion, and humor. The ones who ask, not assume. The ones who see the human before the dancer.

To Every Grown-Up Still in Dance Class

If you’re still dancing, still showing up, still tying your shoes and standing under those too-bright lights… you’re brave. You’re powerful. You’re keeping a part of yourself alive that many let go of too soon.

Dance is not easy. It never was. But it’s worth it—for the moments that make you laugh, for the friends that feel like family, for the chance to feel something real.

So, Why Do I Still Dance?

I still dance because despite everything—my fears, my age, my body image battles, my perfectionism—I love it. I dance for that giggle in class that makes me laugh so hard I cry. For that breath before the music starts. For that second when I forget the world and just move.

I dance because there’s still joy in it. There’s still truth in it. And even though it broke my heart sometimes, it also put it back together.

If you’re a dancer—of any kind, at any age—keep going. Dance because it still matters.

Dance because you can.

Because YOU still matter.

Dance because there isn't one single version of a dancer.

Dance because no matter your age, shape, size, or responsibilities—you deserve that joy. And to wear sparkles at least once a year…

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